


Useless

by 2Dglasses



Category: Super Junior, 아는 형님 | Knowing Bros | Ask Us Anything
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-05-09 20:21:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14722961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2Dglasses/pseuds/2Dglasses
Summary: Heechul hurts his leg during the filming of Knowing Brothers. He tries to hide it from his members, especially Leeteuk, but Super Junior have their comeback soon and the pain is getting worse.





	Useless

Another day filming Knowing Brothers was going smoothly. As usual, Hodong was busy berating the maknaes. Like any other day, the playful back and forth was simply that -- playful.

"Ah, hyung! Be careful not to break the chair when you sit back down! We`ve already gone through our budget this year!"

Heechul teased causing the rest of the brothers to erupt in laughter. Hodong turned towards the cameras and screamed with a big smile on his face.

Kyunghoon was watching his slightly older brother standing in front of him as he joked with their elder. Heechul was always so sharp tongued, he wondered how it had never gotten him in trouble before.

Once or twice it actually had. The times when Heechul had been especially harsh with his jokes were the times that Hodong hit him that little bit harder. But the Super Junior singer would show his discomfort and Hodong would ease off as long as Heechul did too.

However, this time had been a complete accident.

"You wanna fight!?"

The older man shouted his catchphrase before stepping towards his younger brother and pushing him backwards. Heechul stumbled a few feet and ended up hitting against Kyunghoon`s desk hard. He heard his hyung let out a quiet breath of pain as his upper body buckled over the surface and the younger man instinctively stood up and took hold of his older brother.

The other men saw this as Heechul dramatically exaggerating and Kyunghoon playing along like they would sometimes. They started laughing and getting ready for the next set-up.

Kyunghoon helped Heechul up.

"Are you okay?"

The older singer straightened and smiled.

"Yeah. I`m good. Thanks, Kyunghoon-ah."

They spoke low and Heechul slowly sat back down in front of the other maknae.

The filming continued. Although Kyunghoon noticed that for the rest of the day Heechul had remained alot quiter than he usually was. He rarely chimed in with his usual wit and didn`t stand up again at all. The younger man peered around to get a good look at his hyung. He noticed that Heechul`s skin was shining from sweat and his hair that was closely shaved at the back of his head had become damp. He leaned forward again and saw the older man`s fist clenched tight as it rested on his left leg. His eyes were closed.

"Okay everybody, break for lunch!"

The director yelled from the darkness of the set. The brothers stood up and rejoiced.

"Ah, about time!"

Yeongchul exclaimed in English and rubbed his hands together.

The classroom emptied. All except for the maknaes. Heechul hadn`t noticed that his friend was still sitting behind him. He moved to stand up, but immediately fell back down into his seat. His hand gripped the edge of his desk and he hung his head low, shutting his eyes tight.

Kyunghoon stood immediately and appeared beside his friend.

"Hyung!"

He kneeled down and looked up at his older brother`s face. A tear fell down Heechul`s now very pale skin. The beautiful man opened his eyes and looked sadly down at his friend.

"I can`t stand up, Kyunghoon-ah."

Kyunghoon worriedly glanced down and saw that Heechul`s delicate hand was clutching his knee. His injured knee.

"Shit..."

The younger man spoke freely.

"I knew you were hurt."

Heechul looked at his friend through heavy eyes.

"It wasn`t too harsh, right? What I said."

"No more than usual, hyung. I think it was genuinely an accident. You know he never means to hurt you really."

Heechul slowly released his own tight grip on his knee and tried to straighten out his leg. It was painful, but he continued until his leg was out straight. Kyunghoon watched his friend`s careful movements. He saw the way his brow furrowed as he gritted his teeth, a bead of sweat dripping down his temple.

"Should I call for a medic?"

"No, I`ll be okay."

"Heechul. You`re in pain."

"I can deal with it, Kyunghoon. I have for years."

The younger man stepped up when his friend leaned on his desk to help him stand. He wordlessly took him by the elbow and helped him so that his brother was sitting on top of the desk. Heechul bent forward and began to massage his injured leg. He moved almost automatically. Kyunghoon imagined that his friend must have done this a thousand times. He knew that his leg never really healed completely and that it was a constant pain for him.

"Super Junior will come back soon. Everybody has worked so hard and I can`t let them down again."

Kyunghoon placed his smaller hand over Heechul`s to stop him from massaging his now swollen knee. The movement caused the older brother to look into his friend`s eyes.

"You haven`t let them down. They love you and you know that."

Heechul hesitated before worldlessly nodding.

Just then Hodong poked his head back into the classroom.

"You children coming or what?"

Kyunghoon glanced at Heechul, who was just looking down, before turning to the big man in the doorway.

"Hyung, can you come here for a minute?"

The oldest man approached both of the maknaes and looked at the silent one who`s eyes were still trained at the floor.

"Well, you`ve done it, Kyunghoon. He`s finally quiet!"

He reached behind his back and mimed taking out a pen and paper.

"Tell me how so I can take notes."

"Hyung."

The youngest spoke lowly and gave the oldest a deadpan look. The serious tone caused Hodong to stop playing around and take in Heechul`s appearance and body language. The younger man was sweating and he looked uncomfortable. He scanned the smaller man`s body and saw how his shaky hand was clutching his left knee. Hodong knew about the singer`s trouble with his leg and how he didn`t like to talk about it.

"Heechul-ah."

The bigger man now matched the serious atmosphere in the classroom.

When he didn`t reply Kyunghoon pressed him.

"Heechul."

His friend`s voice caused the delicate man to finally look up and open his eyes. Hodong instantly saw the glassy shine from the younger man`s dark orbs. He was now concerned.

"Heechul, what`s wrong?"

Heechul threw one last glance towards his younger friend who simply nodded back at him.

"It hurts, hyung. M-My leg."

Hodong also glanced at the youngest man.

"When you pushed him."

Kyunghoon clarified. Hodong took a step towards Heechul and gently placed his hand on the smaller man`s thigh, just above the delicate hand resting on his knee. 

"Why didn`t you tell me?"

"It`s not a big deal."

Kyunghoon suddenly stood and gestured towards the knee in question with an open palm.

"You can`t stand, Heechul-ah."

Again the maknae clarified.

Hodong immediately turned and walked towards the darkness of the backstage area.

"Hyung, where are you going?"

Kyunghoon asked.

"To tell the director that we`re done for the day. We can`t film if Heechul-ah is hurt."

Heechul instantly panicked.

"N-No! Hyung, I can. I can stand."

The pained singer struggled to push himself up so that he was awkwardly standing. Kyunghoon kept his hands hovering a few inches from his friend`s waist. Hodong had spun back around to watch the hurt maknae struggling to stay standing. Heechul made a pained noise, but managed to stay upright although he had now started to sway slightly.

"S-See?"

He wasn`t fooling anyone. Both Hodong and Kyunghoon could see how hard it was for him to stay like this. Eventually he gave up and collapsed back down into his chair. He let out a frustrated sigh and banged his fist against the desk.

"Ah, I hate this god damn leg!"

The singer was crying again, but this time it was from sheer frustration. Hodong felt a lump in his throat at the anguish that the younger man was feeling. He stepped closer to him and gently took hold of him, bringing his head to his chest and holding him.

"Heechul-ah, I`m sorry. I didn`t mean to hurt you. You know I never do, right?"

"I know, hyung."

The muffled voice in his embrace spoke as Hodong felt his shirt dampen from the injured man`s tears. Kyunghoon placed a loving hand on his older brother`s back and soothingly ran his palm up an down Heechul`s prominent spine.

"I think sometimes you don`t know your own strength, hyung."

The youngest man reasoned playfully causing Hodong to chuckle. He was relieved when he felt the body in his arms shake a little also at what the maknae had said. After a few more moments, Heechul pulled away and wiped at his eyes. Once he had calmed he simply looked at both men and smiled sheepishly.

"So, you don`t want them to know, right?"

Hodong guessed correctly to which Heechul nodded.

"Just until I can get home. Once I put some ice on it and do some excercises I should be fine."

Kyunghoon studied the oldest man`s face as he could see he was thinking.

"Okay. I`ll say that I`m not feeling well. That should give you the weekend to recover."

"Really, hyung?"

The maknae asked.

"Of course. It`s my fault you`re hurt after all."

"Hyung, are you sure it`s okay?"

Heechul asked in a quiet voice. Hodong kneeled down to his level and grinned.

"I`m Kang Hodong. My words carry some weight around here."

"That`s not all that carries weight."

Heechul couldn`t help it as he chuckled and smiled cheekily at the older man. On camera, this is where Hodong would attack the younger man, but instead he just laughed and stood back up.

"Kyunghoon-ah, take him home and look after him."

Kyunghoon nodded and helped Hodong to lift the injured man. Hodong patted Heechul`s shoulder.

"Seriously, Heechul-ah. I`m sorry."

"I know, hyung. It`s okay, really. Your Space Big Star will be back on Monday, good as new."

Only judging from the unusual amount of pain he was in and the fact that he had dance rehearsal tomorrow, Heechul knew that may not be true.

 

==

 

Heechul arrived at his apartment and thanked Kyunghoon before collapsing onto his couch face first. He wasn't tired, he was just drained so he closed his eyes and just rested. He stayed like that until his knee started to ache him. He let out a long sigh and pushed himself up, making his way into the kitchen to get some ice. He threw his jacket over the back of the chair and took off his trousers so that the ice could sooth his bare skin. Before letting the frozen cubes touch his knee, he glanced down and saw how swollen his hurt limb looked. He grimaced and gently held the cold pack against his skin, letting out a shaky sigh. He then let himself fall forward and rested his forehead against the surface of the table.

He woke up to the sound of his phone vibrating against the table. He jolted upright and saw that the ice that he was holding against his knee had fallen the floor and had long since melted, leaving water dripping down his smooth leg. The swelling had gone down a little, but it still hadn't returned to what it was like before he hit it earlier that day. Eventually he glanced at his phone to see a message.

[Teuk: chullie, just a reminder about tomorrow. ill pick u up at 10am ^^]

[Heenim: k teukie. see u then x]

The drained man looked at the time. It was now past midnight.

"Shit."

He hadn`t meant to fall asleep. He dragged himself up and regretted it straight away. A sharp pain shot through his leg, making him almost buckle to the floor, but he grabbed the table to hold himself up.

"Ah!"

At that moment he considered texting his leader back and telling him he was sick, but then he thought about all the members and how he couldn`t do that to them. So instead he just gritted his teeth and hobbled his way into his bedroom. He took off his shirt, now just in his boxers and slowly lowered himself onto his soft bed all the while doing his best to keep his leg straight.

The familiar dull pain seeped into his joints and he knew right then that he wouldn`t be sleeping tonight.

 

==

 

Leeteuk arrived right on time. 10 am sharp. He knocked on his little brother`s door. The leader waited for a few moments and was about to knock again when the door eventally opened. He took in the sight of his friend.

The younger man was wearing a grey oversized hoodie and black jeans. His black hair covered his forehead, reaching just below his eyebrows. As he stepped through the door and closed it behind him, he fixed a black mask around his face and glanced at his brother.

"Morning, Teuk."

His leader could sense the tiredness in the younger man`s voice.

"Late night?"

"Couldn`t sleep. Think it was the air."

"Yeah, it`s been quite heavy lately."

Heechul was glad that his lie had coincided with the current weather conditions. His leg was still killing him so he tried his best to be subtle by walking behind Leeteuk and bare through the pain as they made their way to the elevator and closer to what Heechul knew would be an agonising day for him.

They arrived at the studio to be greeted by Shindong and Donghae just inside the door stretching. Eunhyuk was flicking through songs on his mp3 player while Yesung was busy on the bench tying his shoelaces. Siwon had just arrived a few minutes before them so he was still setting his stuff down.

"Morning!"

Donghae greeted his hyungs as they got ready to start the rehearsal. Heechul took off his giant hoodie revealing a loose fitting black button up shirt underneathe, only buttoned about half way up. He usually wore sweatpants or flexible pants for dance practice, but today he wore his black jeans so he wouldn`t be able to risk stretching his damaged leg too far. He finally removed his mask and tossed it over his hoodie before joining the rest of his group on the dance floor, silently wishing the day could already be over. 

Because he was almost always at the back of the formation when they danced, he was able to keep his difficulty hidden for most of the practice, but for the bridge he was to come out in front and take the lead. He was usually used to this and had no problem with it before, but was starting to really struggle. Before they began this section he turned to Eunhyuk as he was the one leading the practice.

"Can we stop for a moment? I just need to get some water."

Eunhyuk instantly nodded.

"Of course, hyung. We`ll take ten minutes."

Heechul nodded and wordlessly made his way to his bag. Leeteuk observed his friend`s slow and heavy movements and followed him. Once he was beside him he saw just how much he was sweating. His hair was almost stuck to his forehead. Sure, they sweated during dance practice, but this was excessive even for Heechul.

"Hey Chullie, are you okay? You`re doing well today."

Heechul took a sip of the cool liquid and nodded as he swallowed.

"Thanks, hyung. I`m good. Last night is just catching up with me."

Leeteuk kept his eyes fixed on his younger brother for a few moments longer before putting his hand on his shoulder.

"Okay. After practice you should go straight to bed. You don`t want to upset your sleep pattern."

"I will, Teuk."

Heechul returned to the dance floor and Eunhyuk showed him his specific steps. He was able to get through them very basically. The members just assumed it was how he usually moved. They knew that after his car crash he was never really able to move as fluidly as he could have otherwise with the metal keeping his leg together. They went through it again. 

The group danced in unison and broke for Heechul to step through and take the lead up front. He did some moves, the last one causing his loose shirt to swing up and cling to the skin on his back. Leeteuk, who was directly behind him, noticed the shirt now stuck to his shining skin and saw how profusely he was sweating and how heavy he was breathing. He was so fixated on his friend that he didn`t realise the routine was over until Siwon`s voice was heard.

"Great, hyung!"

Shindong clapped.

"Yeah, Heechul-hyung. Great job."

Heechul eventually stood up straight and slowly turned around to face his members. He was silent except for his heavy breaths. He was looking down when he was fully facing them.

"Hyung?"

Donghae asked.

The man in question slowly looked up. His hair was damp and sweat dripped down his temple. His eyes were closed tight.

"Heechul-ah?"

Leeteuk stepped forward in concern. The sound of his leader`s voice caused the younger man to slowly open his eyes. He focused on his friend with a glazed look before his eyes rolled back and he collapsed.

"Hyung!"

Siwon managed to catch his older brother right before he hit the floor. Everybody was down beside him instantly.

"Heechul-ah. Chullie."

Leeteuk spoke worriedly as Siwon held Heechul`s head on his lap. He could feel the heat radiating from his damp body. Leeteuk kneeled back on his feet.

"Okay, Yesung, go get some water and a cloth or something. Everybody else, give him some space."

He turned his attention back to his fallen brother and put his palm on his forehead and brushed his hair away from his eyes. Siwon watched the amount of care his leader was putting into his movements. Yesung returned with a damp cloth and some water.

"Here!"

"Thanks, Yesung-ah."

Leeteuk instantly held the cloth against Heechul`s burning forehead. He then undid his brother`s belt buckle and opened the top button on his trousers just to take away any sources of pressure he might be feeling. He then moved the cold cloth down to the slim man`s collar bone and left it resting under the black fabric.

Donghae, who was kneeling beside his unconscious brother, was holding his warm hand. He felt the loose grip tighten and looked to his hyung`s face. Heechul`s brows furrowed and he made a soft groaning sound before his feline eyes slowly peeled open. Leeteuk gently placed his soft hand on his friend`s shoulder.

"Chullie. Hey, it`s okay."

Heechul took a moment to focus up at his members concerned faces. Once he remembered where he was, he also remembered why he was lying on the floor and the pain seeped back with an intensitiy that sent a shiver through his whole body. His hand shot up to cover his eyes and Donghae felt the grip in his hand tighten. Heechul`s good leg bent up and he gritted his teeth, letting out a pained yelp.

Siwon felt a lump in his throat as the man he was holding shifted in his hold, clearly in pain.

"Hey, Chullie-ah. Look at me please."

Leeteuk reached up and gently removed his younger brother`s hand from his face to see tears in his eyes. Shindong looked over at Yesung who felt himself well up, and placed an arm around him.

Their leader kept a hold of Heechul`s hand.

"It h-hurts, hyung."

Leeteuk knew instantly what it was.

"Your leg."

Eunhyuk sat back in defeat.

"I should have been more considerate, hyung. It`s my fault. I`m sorry." 

"N-No."

The pained voice filled the room. Heechul`s breath picked up as if he was having a panic attack. Siwon could feel Heechul`s body tremble and he glanced up at Leeteuk. The leader met his eyes with a concerned look.

"It wasn`t you, H-Hyukie."

"Then what was it, Heechul-ah?"

The pained singer let out a sigh and looked up at Siwon upside down from his lap. Siwon thought this was adorable and smiled down at him.

"Can you help me up?"

"Of course, hyung.

Siwon immediately took his hyung under his arms and gently pulled him up. They weren`t far from the wall so he was able to bring Heechul near enough so that he could sit up with his back against the bricks. The hurt member let out another sigh and leaned his head back against the cold concrete. His left hand rested on his knee and his injured leg remained stretched out in front of him. His members gathered around him and sat on the floor. He suddenly noticed his lower half.

"Why are my pants undone?"

Nobody answered his question.

"Chullie, I thought you said your leg hadn`t been bothering you lately."

Leeteuk remembered his brother telling him.

"It hadn`t."

"So what happened, hyung?"

Yesung asked.

Heechul blinked slowly and felt another bead of sweat roll down his face before he eventually spoke.

"Y-Yesterday we were filming. Hodong-hyung pushed me and I fell into Kyunghoonie`s desk. It`s been hurting ever since."

Leeteuk clenched his fist tight.

"Why didn`t you say anything, hyung? We could have postponed practice."

Shindong asked as he placed his hand on Heechul`s shin. The singer didn`t answer, only looking down in silence.

"If I knew you were in pain I wouldn`t have made you dance today, hyung."

Eunhyuk reassured him. Still, he remained silent.

Heechul`s eyes noticed his leader`s clenched fist. His knuckles were now white.

"T-Teuk?"

His leader immediately stood up and violently wiped his own eyes with his sleeve.

"You never tell us when you`re hurting, Heechul."

His voice was strict and firm, anger in his tone.

"You have to wait until you physically pass out from the pain? What if you collapsed at home and hit your head, huh? Do you not care about your own health?"

Heechul looked up at his commanding leader through misty eyes. Sindong tried to interject.

"Hyung."

"I`m-"

Before Heechul could finish, Leeteuk spun around and paced out of the room. The members watched him leave in silence.

"...sorry."

Heechul quietly finished what he was going to say as a tear fell down his smooth cheek. Shindong turned back to the hurt man. 

"It`s alright, hyung."

The injured member slowly nodded as he looked down to his lap.

"Come on, I`ll take you home and call a doctor."

Shindong stood up and reached down for his hyung. Siwon helped Heechul to stand and place his arm around Shindong`s shoulder. Donghae grabbed Heechul`s things for him.

All of the members left together.

 

==

 

Shindong brought Heechul home and called the doctor. He stayed with him as he was examined and given pain medication. The physician also wrapped his knee for him to take some of the pressure away. Once he was satisfied that his sassy older brother was going to be okay, he eventually felt it was alright to leave him alone.

"I`ll talk to Leeteuk-hyung. Don`t worry, it`ll be fine."

"Thanks, Shindong-ah. For everything."

The older man spoke quietly from the couch, his leg propped up on the coffee table.

"You`re welcome, hyung. Rest and I`ll call you tomorrow."

The bigger man smiled before closing the door behind him.

Heechul let out a slow breath and let his head fall back against the couch. That day couldn`t have gone any worse. Now everybody knew about his leg and they would no doubt try to postpone their comeback, despite how much they had prepared for it. That`s the last thing that he wanted. Why were his members so selfless, he wondered. He glanced down at the white bandage that was visible underneathe the hem of his black boxers. It made him angry that even after ten years it was still affecting him. His anger wasn`t given a chance to rise to the surface as it usually would, however, as he heard a knock on his door. He looked at his watch. It was already 11pm. 

He reached forward and pushed himself up slowly, being careful not to put too much weight on his weaker leg. The exhausted singer dragged himself across the floor and through the hallway. He opened the door.

Before he had time to do anything, a body was walking into him, forcing him to step backwards. The door slammed shut and he found himself pressed against the wall. He eventually could focus on the figure in front of him.

"L-Leeteuk?"

"I need to say something and I need you to listen."

The leader`s voice was firm, but a little shaky as his presence towered over his younger brother. Heechul was still trying to process what was happening so he remained silent.

"You were stupid today, Heechul."

Those words felt like a smack in the face.

"It was dangerous and wreckless and it could have been prevented had you told me you were hurt."

Heechul kept his eyes fixed on the ground, not moving.

"You went through the whole rehearsal as if nothing was wrong. You lied to me, Heechul."

The younger man could sense the anger radiating from his leader so he tried to escape the intimidating presence, but he instantly felt a hand push him back against the concrete wall and hold him there as Leeteuk took a step closer, invading his space.

"You lied. You were gonna go through this whole comeback with your leg hurting you, weren`t you? How stupid are you, huh?"

Heechul was being hurt by his leader`s increasingly harsh words as he just let himself be held against the wall and berated.

"What? Got nothing to say? Where`s the old Heechul who always spoke his mind? Who didn`t give a damn what anyone thought of him? Who punched me in the face back at Incheon? Huh?!"

The leader had worked himself up so much that his vision was clouded. His breathing was heavy and heat radiated from his skin. He was met with nothing, but silence. Eventually his body started to cool and his vision cleared and he was able to see the figure in front of him. Heechul had his eyes closed and tears ran down his face. His posture was so defeated, just letting Leeteuk command him to stay against the wall and listen to him. The older man took in the entire image of his friend. Heechul`s thin body was clothed in a grey t-shirt and black boxers, but what caught his attention was the white bandage which peeked from under the black fabric. Immediately, Leeteuk felt his heart sink as he felt the body he was holding against the wall shake and the amount of weight that Heechul was placing against his leader`s hand. He was barely holding himself up.

 

"Oh, God. Chullie. I..."

Leeteuk only now really thought about what he had spent the last five minutes yelling at his little brother. He slowly removed his strong hold on Heechul`s chest and was about to reach for him, but the younger man slid down against the wall and just sat on the floor with one had clutching his knee and the other tangled in his soft black locks. His body shook as he cried. Leeteuk joined his brother on the floor, hesitating to reach for him again as if he was afraid to break him.

"Chullie, your leg. I- I`m so sorry."

He wasn`t sure which he was apologising for more, the overly viscious verbal assault or the fact that he made his little brother stand on a knee that he knew was already a constant cause of pain for him.

"N-No, you`re right, hyung. It`s true."

Heechul spoke through his tears, ignoring his leader`s mention of the new and stronger ache in his leg.

"I`m stupid and should have ...trusted you enought to t-tell you. I w-was being selfish. I`m s-sorry."

The younger man wiped at his eyes, but the tears didn`t stop.

Leeteuk felt his heart break and eyes well up, instantly hating himself for making his little brother cry.

"No, Heechul-ah. God, none of what I said is true. None of it. You were trying to protect us because you care about us more than yourself. And I know you`ve worked so hard on your anger and I`m so sorry I tried to provoke you. Please, forgive me, Chullie. You`re hurting and I should be here for you, not hurting you more."

Heechul wordlessly leaned forward, wrapping his arms around his older brother and buried his head in Leeteuk`s neck. His leader felt his delicate body tremble as the younger man cried. Leeteuk held onto his brother for dear life and let his tears fall freely too. He couldn`t remember the last time Heechul stayed still long enough for him to hold him like this. He loved his younger friend and needed him to know it. So without saying anything he pulled away from Heechul and scooped him up in his arms, carrying him into the living room and lying down on the couch so that his little brother`s head was resting on his chest. Leeteuk just savoured the feeling of holding Heechul in his arms like this. His black hair felt funny against his chin, but it smelled so like him. Heechul always smelled good.

"I`m tired, Teuk."

His voice was almost inaudible, causing Leeteuk to hold him closer.

"Sleep, Chullie. I`m here."

"No."

His leader gazed down to the soft head below him. Big eyes looked up to meet his gaze.

"I`m tired- of feeling like I`m useless."

Leeteuk felt like he was punched in the stomach.

"Heechul-ah, you`re not-"

"I know you`re going to say that I`m not, but that doesn`t stop me from feeling like I am, hyung."

The younger man closed his eyes and let his head rest back on his leader`s chest. Leeteuk wished he could grab his brother and shake him until he found some sense, but he opted for the more subtle approach.

"Chullie, look at me."

The younger man did as he was asked and shifted his face so that he could look up at his hyung without lifting up his head. He gazed through glassy eyes, tears threatening to fall once again.

"Whenever you feel like you`re useless I want you think about how you visited Kyuhyunie every day when he was hurt in the hospital. You are a big part of the reason he was able to recover like he did."

Heechul blinked up at him and furrowed his brow.

"I want you to think about all the times you do variety shows and promote for us even when you don`t think what you`re doing matters. Because it does."

The younger man blinked as tears spilled over his eyelids.

"And I want you to think about when my father... well, you were there for me more than anyone."

Tears spilled from his own eyes as Leeteuk ran his hand through his little brother`s soft black locks and looked lovingly into his eyes.

"You`re not useless, Chullie. You have no idea how important you are..."

The leader trailed off.

"... You really have no idea, do you?"

He said more to himself before he realised how true those words were. Heechul was always made aware of the times he messed up a performance, or missed a step on stage, or came across as cold to a member of press. He was rarely praised for his voice or for when he did well on variety shows or even when he helped out a member. Kyuhyun and him had gotten a lot closer after they bonded over both being in a car accident, as morbid as that sounded. But Heechul never really was told when he did well.

Leeteuk reached down and kissed his little brother`s head, grasping his smooth hand in his own.

"I love you, Chullie. I`m always proud of you. You matter and I need you to know that. And I`m sorry that you`re not told that more often."

Heechul smiled shyly up at his big brother. He didn`t deal with compliments well.

"Thanks, Teuk."

They lay in silence for what seemed like hours, but neither cared. You can only be truly comfortable in a silence with somebody you trust anyway. Eventually Leeteuk felt a vibration against his chest.

"Fucking Hodong..."

The leader instantly started laughing and Heechul joined him.

"I have a feeling that he wasn`t entirely unprovoked."

The younger man hesitated.

"I may have said something about his weight."

Leeteuk lightly hit his little brother in the stomach.

"Then I take it back. This is all your fault, Kim Heechul."

They both playfully laughed together, simply enjoying eachother`s company until the sun came up and a new day began.

 

==

THE END


End file.
